Sitting on the back patio
under the tin roof
feet propped after a long day at the salon
listening to the rain

thank you.

100 mph days & not nearly enough sleep to make up for the spent energy
Lack of peace and quiet and rest
Restless mind, wandering heart
Drifting patience and chaotic soul
Lord, I will praise you.

Sometimes, I cannot disengage my mind
I hadn’t even thought about this until a recent conversation with my boss
Resting in the Father. Clearing your mind of all distractions and resting in Him
I love this idea, this reality that we all should indulge in on a daily basis
resting in the father. Indulging in Him.

Father, I come to you, having been so far away for far to long, to ask for forgiveness.
To ask for grace and peace the surpasses all understanding. To thank you for the love you hold onto me ever so tightly with….gripping and pulling as I fight so hard to tear away from you.
I’ll never understand the true beauty of this “holy” that you hold. Lord, I ask for peace. A peace only found in you.

I need a drive.
Destination unknown.
My Toyota (Lucy), open roads, & some quiet time with the Lord.

There are things that I don’t quite understand.
Big things.
Things that I doubt.
Things I worry about.
Things I stress over.

Things that block my eyes from being completely focused on you.

Father, I’m crying out to you, for peace.
For you offer peace that surpasses all understanding.
Peace that overwhelms my heart and takes away my doubt, my stress.
A peace that I’m so highly undeserving of.
A peace only you can give to me.

It’s back to the basics.
Lord, you’re guiding me through these key principals of life through your word.
Enlightening me.
Revealing your magnitude.

God, you are the God of sustainability.
You prepare us for these times.
These times of hopelessness and of confusion.
Through these times of “word filled days”, and through the times of utter despair.
You never give us more than we can handle, and no matter the circumstance, all glory, honor, & praise belong to you.

“we take the good days from God, why not also the bad?” -Job, 2:10

Job got it.
Job let “the words he said and the deeds he did correlate with the person he was in Christ.”
Job remain true to the Lord, despite bad times and heartache.

Failure.
The enemy is good at convincing me of this
Forcing insecurity upon me
Drowning me in self doubt

Love.
You chase after me, trying to capture my heart
Running after me, so unworthy, so blind

That’s true love, true passion, true beauty

Grace.
I think about this word alot.
I think about this word when I can’t gather my thoughts.
I think about it when my words don’t come out right & I can’t make sense of things.
I think about it when I know I’ve made a mess of things, and can’t seem to get things straight.
& believe me, all of these things happen often

That’s what got me here
To this place of solitude with Christ
Discontent with now, planning for later

Although this sounds like it would be a good thing to be, sometimes we get far to caught up in planning and lose sight of the actual plan; we lose sight of what’s happening today, right now.

I struggled with this thought of “now”
Being content with now: what God’s given me, the task at hand, the supplies given, not wanting or desiring things He obviously hasn’t allowed for a reason, and being patient

Patiently waiting for my hearts desires, and not dwelling on things of tomorrow
“for today has enough to be worried about”

Lord.
I sit here in awe of today.
& all of the beauty it holds.
I only desire to sit at your feet an listen to what you have to say today.

“As they continued their travel, Jesus entered a village. A woman by the name of Martha welcomed him and made him feel quite at home. She had a sister, Mary, who sat before the Master, hanging on every word he said. But Martha was pulled away by all she had to do in the kitchen. Later, she stepped in, interrupting them. “Master, don’t you care that my sister has abandoned the kitchen to me? Tell her to lend me a hand.” The Master said, “Martha, dear Martha, you’re fussing far too much and getting yourself worked up over nothing. One thing only is essential, and Mary has chosen it-it’s the main course, and won’t be taken from her.” (Luke 10:38-42 MSG)

“I have died everyday waiting for you

Darlin’ don’t be afraid

I have loved you for a Thousand years

I’ll love you for a Thousand more”

While dancing amongst the hustle & bustle in the salon the other day, I heard these lyrics float around from the speakers above.
I had heard the song numerous times before, and never had these simple words hit me so hard.
Hitting my heart.
A wave of emotion and romance.
A romance I know so well came to mind.

God chases us, our whole lives, pursuing our heart and minds.
He plans out of every second long before this chase ever begins.
He knows His battle.
He knows, long before our existence, that we will chase after so many other lovers, only to come crawling back, broken-hearted, asking Him to mend our undeserving hearts.

This is a fact that baffles me.
This is a love, a love so grace filled, that I can only hope to capture even the slightest hold of.

This is my desire.
My heart longs to strive for this.
For you, Father, to be the desire of my heart.

I have been your desire for a thousand years.
You have been waiting for me for a thousand years.

I’m asking you, God, for one thing
Only this one thing
To live with you in your house
My whole life long
I want to contemplate your beauty
To study at your fett

Your house is the only quiet and secure place I’ll ever find in this noisy world
The perfect getaway
Far, far away from the buzz of traffic

God, you hold my head and shoulders above all who try to pull me down.
I’m running to you, offering anthems that will blow the speakers!
Already I’m singing praises to you, God.
I’m Praising you.

-Psalms 27: 4-6
⁴ I’m asking God for one thing,
only one thing:
To live with him in his house
my whole life long.
I’ll contemplate his beauty;
I’ll study at his feet.

⁵ That’s the only quiet, secure place
in a noisy world,
The perfect getaway,
far from the buzz of traffic.

⁶ God holds me head and shoulders
above all who try to pull me down.
I’m headed for his place to offer anthems
that will raise the roof!
Already I’m singing God-songs;
I’m making music to God.

¹³But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. 1 corinthians 13

I am so anxious and impatient, yet you calm my heart, oh Lord.
You fill me with contentment.
You fill my heart with joy and I am greatful for what you have allowed in my “now”

I yell out to my God, I yell with all my might, I yell at the top of my lungs. He listens. (Psalm 77:1 MSG)

You listen.
Creator of the heavens and Earth, master over all things bright and beautiful, Divine King on the highest throne…you listen.
You listen to our desperate cries.
You listen to our deepest desires.
You take into consideration out most selfish demands, and listen when we blast you for all that we can’t have.
You never turn your ear, no matter how ignorant our demands.
You simply listen.

Oh my God, thank you.
I thank you for listening, even when I shout in anger because I cannot see the works that your doing.
Your plan is good, you are always good.

God, helps us listen.
Help us listen with ears like yours.